The Pain
by Hekko
Summary: The war is over, but many lives have been lost during it. Will it ever stop hurting? A sequel to Simple Things. WARNING: Death story.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter NOR any of his friends NEITHER any of his enemies. It's hard to admit, but when I'm done with them all, I have to return them to Joanne K. Rowling in an original wrapping and unharmed.  
I make no money, I mean no harm.

* * *

**The Pain**

* * *

It should have been him.

As he watched her face, so calm and beautiful, he remembered how she'd thrown herself in front of him, saving his life. He sighed. As if there had been anything he would have lived for without her.

Her body was covered with roses of all colours. Everyone liked good old Professor McGonagall. He added his one, deep red, on the top of the pile. It hadn't been two days yet and he missed her like hell. Her eyes, her smile, her frown, her. He felt a tear making its way down his cheek.

"Will it ever stop hurting?" he wondered.

"Of course it will," someone answered. He looked up; he hadn't realised he had spoken aloud. It was Cho Chang, staring at Minerva's face. "It's just a question of time. Slowly it will fade away and... disappear."

Of course, she had to be right. He had seen her at the wall with pictures of former victims of the second war; looking at the picture of Cedric Diggory, to be precise. It had been three years since his death but she obviously hadn't forgotten. And they had been dating for less than a year...

_Why did you leave me?_

He turned his gaze back to Minerva's face. Her lips were still the same, as seductive as three days before when they had shared the last kiss. He closed his eyes.

* * *

_"Why do you trust me?"_

_"Because... because I... I know you." It was in her eyes, in her voice, he knew it though she didn't say it._

_He didn't say it, neither._

* * *

Severus couldn't stand the sight any more. He abruptly turned away and quickly scanned the rest of coffins. Someone in the Order decided it would be better to bury all the dead at the same day at the same place. The idea had sounded horrible to Severus from the beginning and it never turned to be any better. He shrugged.

A bunch of flaming red hair caught his eye. The Weaslyes were standing next to two coffins. Ginny nodded at him, the rest were too wrapped up in their grief. He considered offering his sympathies but he couldn't figure out which members of the family had died. He headed to the exit only to meet Harry Potter. The least person he would want to meet right now. It sent his mind two days to the past.

* * *

_"That's exactly why I dislike traitors, Severus." The quiet, cool voice made hair on Severus' back stand up. He turned to face the Dark Lord. Very slowly._

_It was the last movement in his life, he should take his time, shouldn't he?_

_So the Dark Lord did figure out in the end. Not that he hadn't expected it; and after having to kill Dumbledore, he didn't care at all. Or he wouldn't if it wasn't for..._

_A shriek came from bushes at the side at the same time as Voldemort rose his wand, the word Avada already forming on his lips. A tabby cat sprung from left side, changing into a woman in the middle of the leap so that she was large enough to shield the curse with her body._

_"... Minerva," Severus finished his though aloud and sank to his knees beside her dead body._

_Why did you leave me?_

_Voldemort was staring at them with an open mouth. He probably couldn't believe his bad luck; for the second time in his life his enemy was saved by a foolish, stupid woman. Well aware of the mistake he had made the last time, he put away his wand and reached for a dagger._

_If you can't use magic to get them..._

_Severus rose his head and saw the dagger in the Dark Lod's hand. He didn't move, he didn't try to reach for his wand or dodge the deadly blade, he had no reason to do so. And then the Boy-Who-Lived, famous Harry Potter, the Hogwarts celebrity stood up behind Voldemort and... killed him._

_Just kill me now. Kill me as well. I'm waiting._

_It was in the boy's eyes, all the hatred he nursed for Severus Snape, the murderer and traitor. Yet Harry hesitated; he saw something that stopped him from raising his wand once again._

_Severus was weeping. Quietly, but visibly, and his dark eyes were full of pain. Harry sat down on the soggy ground next to corpse of his enemy, exhausted, confused and sad._

_The clouds that had covered the sky at the beginning of the battle disappeared and the country was suddenly bathing in the sunlight._

_Severus didn't feel the warmth of the sun on his face. He felt cold emptiness as he cradled Minerva's lifeless body._

_It should have been the other way around._

_It should have been me._

_Why did you leave me?_

* * *

As if Harry could read his mind, he didn't say anything, looked away and stepped aside so Severus could go through.

Severus walked around a corridor and stopped before the entrance to his office... his former office. He didn't know why he allowed himself to come here. The place was full of memories, beautiful memories, but painful, too.

He remembered the first time she had come here to see him. The second time... every time. He rested his forehead against the solid door. Merlin, it hurt.

_Why did you leave me?_

_Was it yesterday when I caught you reading a book sitting in my armchair? Or when you popped in just to kiss me instead of saying good morning? It seems so far away and yet I can almost close my fingers around your wrist again._

_It hurts, Minerva, you won't believe how much it hurts. And I don't even understand why. You shouldn't have been there._

* * *

He finally came back to hear the ceremony. Very important people talked about very important things like how brave all those dead had been and how... he didn't listen.

He was reading words on the memorial he was standing next to: You died for us, thus proving you loved us more than yourself. We forgot to tell you how much we loved you, too. But as we know you loved us, you know we love you... and we always will.

He read the words again and again, trying hard to believe them.

At last all the speeches were over and the crowd moved outside to accompany their beloved on their last trip. He couldn't follow. He wanted to remember her face as she had been laying here just minutes before, covered with blossoms. All this putting in grave business would only make him feel worse.

As if he hadn't been feeling bad.

_Why did you leave me?_

He waited for everybody to leave and then turned in the opposite direction. On his way out, he caught a glimpse of someone sitting on the stairs. He returned to find Cho Chang sobbing and shaking violently. His first thought was to leave her all alone but then he sat down next to her and tapped her back. She laid her head on his shoulder.

Few minutes later she stopped crying and sat up again. She pressed handkerchief to her face. Her eyes looked like as she had been just beaten by someone. Obviously her make-up wasn't tear-proof.

"I lied," she said quietly. He looked at her. She was watching tiles on the floor. "I lied, Professor, it never stops hurting. You just get used to living with the pain."


End file.
